An Ode to my Tires

About three weeks ago, I thought it was in my empty bank account's best interest to borrow money from random family members and move out of my brother's apartment. I found this fabulous townhouse about 2 miles away - that came with two roommates. The good news is that I have the master bedroom with it's own private bathroom. Win. My logic behind convincing myself that I could afford this venture was the fact that in X number of weeks, I would receive my financial aid disbursement and all would be right in the world. No matter that I had no money for gas or food - this would just help me walk more and eat less. Another win. Then my car crumbled into a million pieces around me. Well, maybe that's not entirely true.

I fear that this topic may make me sound like such a stereo-typical helpless woman from the 1950's, but I'm going to venture down this road anyway. I am utterly dense when it comes to cars and all of it's workings. The extent of my knowledge when it comes to my beloved Mazda3 is that it's blue, it no longer smells like new car after three years of ownership, I have a wheel lock in my glove compartment, my window wipers are falling apart every time I turn them on, I never seem to have enough window washer fluid in the reservoir and the gas tank is on the left right side. Oh yes, and that I should get an oil change every 3,000 miles. Now enter Wednesday evening.

First things first, the light that indicates low tire pressure came on. No big deal, this has happened before, I'll just swing by the gas station later on and check the tire pressure. Ten minutes later my car starts shaking uncontrollably.

"Hmm, that's odd" I think, "I should pull over!"

There I am on the side of I495 during rush hour traffic with a flat tire. The only thing that crossed my mind was that I didn't have my chap stick with me (I have a slight addiction to it, but that's a topic for another day). I called Geico to send someone out to change my tire (yes, that's right, I don't know how to change a flat) and was told someone would be there within 45 minutes. So I sit and wait, attempt to slather on lip gloss pretending that it was chap stick, and read my car manual. I think that may have been the first time I opened that book, it made a creaking sound when I flipped to the "maintenance schedule" section. Anywho, twenty minutes later my knight on a white horse appears. It was actually Mister McNo-Tooth from VDOT. I was grateful for the assistance, laughed at his lispy jokes and went on my way to get the tire fixed.

$260 later, I left Merchants with a new tire, minus my soul, happiness and dignity. I was also informed of the need for three other new tires, new brake pads, an oil change, and a transmission flush. Hmph. I might as well add that as of about a week ago my front driver's side tire has been making a creaking noise everytime I turn the steering wheel. I'm fairly certain that it will fall off my car as I'm driving in the rain on an unpaved road.

Definition: Murphy's law - an adage or epigram that is typically
stated as "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"

So kids, the lessons learned here are as followed:
1. Move when you can't afford to
2. Never take care of your car until things begin to fall off of it
3. Spend money that belongs to other people
4. Never learn how to change a tire
5. Brush your teeth, so you don't end up working for VDOT, speaking an unrecognizable form of English