You would think after I spent years suffering from the chronic condition of being a teenager that I would be rewarded without having to worry about certain things at my age: body image issues, having sex for the first time, weight struggles, staying out past curfew, and acne. I'm 26 years old - I should no longer have to fear looking in the mirror when I wake up because a giant pimple named Bertha decided to lease my cheek for her winter vacation. I'm not sure why my face has been trying to self destruct for the past few months, but frankly I'm a little tired of these unwelcomed guests. At first I thought perhaps it was the stress of moving. Then I thought it was the stress of being jobless, and having to move. Then perhaps it was the stress of having no money, being jobless
and having to move. In any case, I look like I've been going through puberty, and I've been wanting to soak my face in a vat of concealer on a daily basis. How am I supposed to impress interviewers when pimples the size of Montana have taken up residency on my once supple skin?
I have used every product offered, and have spent countless pennies going to dermatologists, filling prescriptions for creams and pills and have washed my face with everything imaginable. The only thing that worked when I was a teenager came with more warnings on it than a box full of chemical warfare. Accutane was considered the last resort medication for dermatologists to give their patients, and required monthly blood tests to make sure I wasn't dying or pregnant. Most patients take this drug for 5 months, but luckily for me, I took it for a whole 7 months. Might I mention that this "medication" was recalled in 2009 and is now undergoing a slew of law suits from patients whose insides are literally falling to pieces. I suppose dealing with the 3 hour daily nosebleeds, dry, cracked lips so bad I would go through a tube of Chap Stick in a week, painful blood tests, depression, and suicidal ideations every day at the age of 15 wasn't bad enough. I can now look forward to my liver falling out of my ass soon. At least my skin looked good for... about 10 years. Well worth it, right?
Haven't I been through enough? If I have to deal with being broke, jobless, single, and full of self loathing misery, can't my skin at least glow from the inside out!? Is that really too much to ask?
I would also like to note that I'm extremely tired of these Proactiv commercials every time the TV is turned on. Listen here Katy Perry, P.Diddy, Jessica Simpson, Justin Bieber and Kelly Clarkson: the prodcut that you so highly endorse doesn't work. Unless I happen to be the only freak out there who's skin is completely resistant to Proactiv's magic, I'm tired of all these happy celebrities running around with clear skin. If I have to suffer, there's no reason why Katy Perry can't either.
Let's make 2011 the year of clear skin people. I'll accept your donations, start conducting research immediately and will post my findings periodically.
